So usually I share a verse or chapter of the Word and talk about what I’m learning. But sometimes, I just share. That’s today.
I titled this a growth week, which is an apt description, but it means so many things right now. The first two words that come to mind are long and tough. Sometimes things go wrong, or even not as planned. I mean well, but I also mess up. I’ve messed up this week.
Also, I can’t control others and feel wronged by them. I get frustrated and angry. But I forget that I’ve been on both sides of that coin. But it happens.
And sometimes I can get so wrapped up in busy-ness I ignore other important things. Especially with work. I can get so wrapped up in it sometimes I forget to breathe.
But I did grow.
Sometimes it’s just not easy to see.
See, I deal with anxiety. Not just worry, but medically verified severe anxiety. I take care of it with the help of a doctor, but it still comes up. My anxiety used to ramp up from zero to sixty instantly. Now it ramps up slower, but it is still there. So when things don’t go right or as planned, I get into a storm of anxiety. Sometimes it’s a doozy. And when you’re in a storm, and the rain is falling fast and hard, you can’t see through it very well. There’s no way to get through it safely on your own. You can either stay home or pull over in the middle and wait it out. If you try to drive through it, you can do even more damage. A wreck, or even worse. And I tried to slow down and drive slowly through it. Didn’t work.
But there’s a way. The way.
When I operate in a way other than His, I find trouble in the storm. And I found it. And wrecked. Some of it my own consequences. Some of it external forces. But as I come to the end of the week and even go to church, I get reminded of Jesus. First, following Him I have a way through the storm. The way to be exact. He didn’t promise me no storms. But He will guide me through them. But I have to follow. Jesus is my calm through it. He is my rock, my firm foundation.
It can be hard to remember sometimes. I can get to a place where I’m over confident and prideful, thinking I know best. But Gods way is best.
What am I saying with all this? I’m a sinner. Even one of the great men of the Bible, Paul who wrote over half the New Testament, called himself the chief of sinners. And sometimes we mess up. No amount of anxiety will make it better.
And that’s why we need Jesus.
My prayer today is for Jesus to take my mess. And to remind me not to judge others by their mess.