Updated: May 13
So today, I had a much-needed but exhilarating conversation. I've been a little lost lately and trying to figure out my way. Nothing drastic or depressing, just a good, straightforward, mind-clearing talk with a friend. It was great. And it was a little eye-opening.
By the way, we all need a friend like this. Someone who isn't afraid to shoot straight and say things plain like they are. And they say it in love, not judgemental. Sometimes it's hard to hear, but the best friends tell you like it is and then support you the whole way. I wouldn't have it any other way.
So I'm ready for more. I go to church, read my Bible, and participate in group activities. I kind of go to men's group, and I do listen to the sermon on Sundays if I'm not helping out front. I've got it in my head that I want more, to go deeper, I'm ready to serve. I don't want to sit at the table and just absorb. I'm an advocate for church being a gas station, not a destination. You don't go to church to just fill up. You fill up and then use what you got as fuel to do good in the world. And I'm ready to go.
But humbly, I thought about how I got there. People who were ready for more, farther along in their walk, didn't just leave me behind. They reached out and brought me along. And they're still bringing me along for the walk. Sometimes dragging. But I love it. I'm not in this alone, and I have support. The beautiful thing is that support isn't behind me to catch me as I fall. It's more like they're helping me hold them up, and I get to help hold them when they need it.
But I realize I'm not reaching out near as much as I want. I'm still taking and not giving. I say that in a humble way. I don't think I'm some superstar that can make a difference in everyone and fix everything. But I'm not sharing what has been such an enriching and vital part of my life. I'm not sharing something that has changed me so much for the good, and in a way that I can never say thank you enough. It seems selfish to a degree I didn't consider. It seems like I'm ignoring the very things I've learned and appreciated. I don't think I'm better than people, but the actions inadvertently say otherwise. None of it is intentional, and now that I see it I can do better.
I guess it's like the title suggests: it's ok to move on, but not move away. Rhetorically speaking, that is. So that's the plan. Keep on moving forward, but grab a few hands on the way.